date: Friday, March 28, 2008
title: Dear Pathetic Friday
time: 5:46 PM

theme: All Time Low, Dear Maria Count Me In

i feel weak today. unlike normal days, i woke up to the rare tune of my hand phone only to realize it was my mum calling me. what started out as a normal hi and bye quickly turn into a one sided fight. i was too tired to fight with my mum, it was something i just let myself give up on. after the call, i realize i started to feel uneasy.

'soft' 'weak' 'mushy' 'tired' 'bitter' all the things that i don't normally express myself when i woke up all came in. it was a rare wake up call. i just feel like a loser. i've never had this before. maybe my mind is telling me to give up. its giving me an early warning that my body won't be able to last anymore. reason number one

a cut from nowhere, how weak can i get

or maybe its something to do with my astrology. its 28th of March. 28 + 3 = 11. 11 was the month i was born. 11 is also the age when my whole life got turn around. maybe there's some relationship, like one of those Lost promotions. the fuck, i don't seem to care.

life's been hectic. if i can sum it up in one word, it'll be hectic chaotic lows. but then again, who am i to be blame. i just like being all alone.

people view me as being pathetic. maybe its due to me letting them into my life. that's how a majority of them view me as. judging by contemplating bout my past. i don't hate them, i just don't care. if your friends with me, then i wish you a blessed day. if not, i'll just see you as another dead person in my eyes.

here's something for that someone,

"I'll try!" she said as he walked away.
"Try not to lose you."
Two vibrant hearts could change.
Nothing tears the pain more than deception,
unmasked fear.
"I'll be here waiting" tested and secure.

Nothing hurts my world,
just affects the ones around me.
When sin's deep in my blood,
you'll be the one to fall.

I wish I could be the one,
the one who won't care at all.
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns its back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confided in me was your heart.
I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me.

Nothing will last in this life
our time is spent constructing,
now you're perfecting a world... meant to sin.
Constrict your hands around me,
squeeze till I cannot breathe,
this air tastes dead inside me,
contribute to our plague.
Break all your promises,
tear down this steadfast wall,
restraints are useless here,
tasting salvation's near.

i'm in desperate need for some hate to feed on.



Webowner

Hi,my name is Garrz. some would call me me G where others choose to be formal and just call me by my surname. this blog is a recollection of my life and my undecided other soul. while it may seem to be suicidal in a glance, it is just an explicit form of expression of myself against the typical world. i AM a banana and i do LOVE sad pandas. contact can be made towards ybgarr@gmail.com

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