date:
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
title: “It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. ” Marilyn Monroe
I've been trying so much to be such a so called "improved" person. From trying to be more sociable, towards trying to just be more positive when the going gets tough. the picture says it all though. come on Gary, you have to be keep going at it.
Driving around KL has been a refreshing experience. from the complaints i've been receiving from being a so called driver towards the nagging of how poor my parking has been. let's get this straight, i do not choose to be that person's driver. she can't even be bothered to drive herself around, so why pin everything all on me. sure i'm a bad driver, but i haven't drove a car in bloody 6 years. what would anybody expect me to do, be a Micheal Schumacher right off the bat?
The bar that i was supposed to be apart off fell through. the details i shall leave for myself. what was the most important reason behind it was due to the fact that the bar has been dried out since its January. the rest of the story i shall just put it at rest. there's no point keeping a grudge, bar's going dead when i went there.
sad tuesday, let's see what the rest of the week holds.
date:
Friday, January 6, 2012
title: “Let him that would move the world first move himself. ” Socrates
It seem just yesterday that I promise myself I’ll be a better person and ended up breaking that vow 2 hours later. Perhaps maybe this year will be different, I hope? I don’t think I’m the most perfect person alive, I just think I’ve grown over the years from that small silent kid to a now somebody that actually have a voice about himself with the extra added fats (ugh!)
While roaming around Puchong with my cousin, we came across this pub that had this promotion going on and something caught my mind. 88 bucks for an effing pillar from 9 til closing time. I was caught between two worlds. Here I am trying to not let myself be drag into the world of alcoholism again and the bar is just a road away from my house. What’s worst is the fact that I’ll be staying there alone earlier than expected seeing that Agnes is going away in mid-feb.
Should I be scared that I’m going to waste my cash on that golden water again? I should I guess. But at least I can rest assured that there will be a place for me to just go and drink my problems away should the need arises.
Things that have been settled this week:-
a) Finally got my new GPS toy
b) Going through the final details of my uni application
c) Finally able to drive around that car
Perhaps maybe I should do that checklist all the time. It kind of gives me a sense of accomplishment for what I had did throughout the weekdays.
Clifford’s going off on Monday and guess who’ll be the lucky driver. I’m already preparing myself mentally for the car ride. KL traffic is no joke. Whenever I’m in the car riding by, I imagine myself being stuck on a road full of speedy and careless leeches just waiting for me to commit a mistake and pounce on me. Once pounced, the leeches suddenly squirt out vampire like goblins who yell and make fun of you. They fulfilled themselves curiosity by making a mockery out of your careless souls and then finally infests your minds with their dark words just so you can repeat their cycle all over again.
I’ve seen a few people fallen for the rage of the road and its unsightly.
I need to lose weight and gain my focus again. Blood sweat and tearful workout diets, here I come back to you.
date:
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
title: 2012
listening: Flo Rida - Good Feeling
A new year, i guess i should start off with a new post. for the first time, i guess i would want to make myself have the desire to make something out of this year. maybe it's just the sense of obliged responsibility that seems to weigh down on my mind since i guess i am turning into sort of an old dude. but heck, i still feel like i want to be one of the young kids.
Agnes and Clifford laugh at me yesterday while i was walking down the stairs. i look through them and told them i know what was funny. i don't know why, but every time i shaved, i look like a freaking kid that just came out of high school or something. that's one of the things that annoy me about my self grooming. what's even worst is i can't even look at the mirror without noticing that i DO look like a kid.
End of the year was fun. i would like to personally thank the two sisters of the moon, Astrid and Mitch for the hang-outs. yes, i do admit you girls where fun! minus the camera snapping torture and the mud stuck car that i had to pull you girls out of with my armani mud drenched jeans. i will come back and hang again. perhaps maybe sooner than expected. maybe i should have extended my stay.
While all of this happen, i couldn't help but think of the people i'm fond of outside Malaysia. while everybody else was busy pampering themselves to their new year's end, i took a moment to just remind myself about them and how i wish i could become mr. superman and fly across the ocean just to hang with them instead of just sending them a simple e-mail. i hate borders, why does everything have to divided.
In a silent contemplation, i choose to do the following this year (some of which is already under way):
a) Get myself in MMU
b) Lose more weight
c) Get my ass to KK for the obvious reasons
d) Drive around KL like a pro
e) Make the most of what i have around me
i would have wanted to add more to the list but after much pondering most of it are materialistic items or more of a private personal thing to which i'll probably write about later depending on how it goes.
Sometimes i force myself to speak to people or just be open about things, like the time when Razi call me "Depressing Gary" and ended up apologizing about it in KK and finally admitting i was cool. or even the time when i went to that Starbucks only to be called a "Malay Brat" for speaking with an accent to people. let's get one thing straight, i am EMO and i can be a BASTARD at times. but as i grew older and explore the world, i've observe and snip a few things from various interactions that i came across. i still do wish to remained a silent person, but if it brings about a boring atmosphere then it's up to me to force myself to actually do something about it.
P.S.
This post is dedicated to Boogs and Nitsugua. Thanks again for everything, yours truly will repay his debt.
