date:
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
title:
John O Callaghan feat. Sarah Howells - Find Yourself i've been streaming in an empty hole for awhile now. i feel jaded with minor perceptions of what if's. contemplating what should be done but just not doing it in the end. i feel like i need a new mirror to smash my fist in. the last one was broken with blood stains all over that holy grail. i really wish i could taken all of those pieces for the memories sake but i only took one. i'm ravishing with the intense overdose of alchoholic beverages and chucking caffeine like nobody's business. its no wonder that i've been able to stay awake the whole day and only managing a mere 4 hours of sleep the next even though i spend like 6 hours in bed. nat gave me a quote recently with the words"Where I'm going, I don't need my brakes. Can't wait to see your face, when your front window breaks and I come crashing through"
now i suddenly have the feeling that i don't want any part of her. i know i'm getting old by the day. astrid indirectly prescribed me with a reality pill of how old i've become. i'm in no where in any point have any leads on how to be an immortal forever. its something which i'm inclined to give up on. i feel the need to evolved myself again. again which is pretty much tiring and really a big f*uckin headache. i really cant afford the luxury of keeping up with people that assume that everything a happy go lucky charm to me. it's sad that they always do but none the less i guess some feel its a requirement to just no add water into a bottle of vodka. my brain has been a bit jumpy thanks to the meds i'm taking. i have to watch myself in translation with people that i get online so i don't start spilling frags on them. i had to excuse myself on certain times because frankly i felt like shits and didn't wish to prolong my dropping eye lids. i should start making another piece of creative writing for new year again. when i do that i don't know. but i guess since i'm skinning my mask, it should be soon. just hang with me and sit tight, i might even post my blog to the public. shot me if i do, i rather not cross the rules of blogging and spill a mess for somebody. and yes, there's a new link. and yes, i've found my brother. or should i say i do have one but we have a strange working relationship where we don't talk to each other. maybe you'd find me in it should he ever decide to snap shots of me. hopefully, i won't bash that expensive camera of his for doing so. for that dead link that's been up there, i'm keeping it there just because i don't feel like deleting a friend from this treasure map of mine. still hoping she'll get back into the habit of writing again the way i know she can. u t.c. of urself there lil' one, i do mean well. happy late new years everybody. signing off, i hear the meds calling the sand man again.
