date:
Sunday, April 24, 2011
title: when the music stop playing
there's no music at the moment, that's partly my fault. the rest is due to freaking mixpod acting up. there's just so much shit in my life right now that i think this whole post won't fit.
i can't even stay in my own room without looking blatantly down at the dark corner where i store my pen knife. its just stupid. i feel like i want to scream again and just give up on life. am i really a loser?
why do people choose to change others thinking that the change will bring them closer towards what they think will be a beneficial existence? honestly, if you can't stand a person for being who they are then don't bother to go talk to them. if you think they're annoying then stay away from them. but if they keep things to themselves and do their own thing, how in that respect is a distraction or even an annoyance to your life?
i just can't bloody get it why anybody would want to butt into somebody's personal matter and just demand that their way is better. just because you had a good life doesn't bloody mean your better than everybody. mind your fucking business and i'll mind mine. the world is full of pencil pushers as it is.
date:
Monday, April 11, 2011
title: is it too late to salvage?
after spending a day and a half trying too move all the codes and spending half of it just coming up with a new name just for the new blog, finally everything is all set and done.
the good thing is everything is inch perfect so far that i'm tiredly satisfied. so much so that i'm already thinking of not changing the layout again.
i had a bitter fight with Wade last nite when he barged into my room and just bitch about how i should change my ways and be more like him. in his perspective, Gary would enjoy much more in life should he act like Wade which is the equivalent of a fallen jock but still manages to get the girls and able to converse with random strangers even though he is a bit narcissistic and a bit of a racist.
he bitch about a whole 2 hours while i just stare to my monitor trying to read a lifehacker journal and even then he didn't stop. he kept on blowing my lid until i just had to break the silence and just told him i'm fine the way i am and comfortable to which he thinks i'm more or less content and not the other.
he left my room an hour later fuming at the fact that all his badgering just seem to bounce off the walls and didn't cause any effect on me. a minute later, i humbly ask nat the silly question "am i loser?" to which she respond non hesitantly.
so maybe i'm emo and sometimes i just choose to be nonchalant about things. but if anybody bloody ask me to change just because they think its better, i rather they waste their time on the Gregorian Orchestra because i've had my cuts and scars from changing just to appease other people. and everybody gave the same reason "it will be in your own benefit to...". my foot my own benefit, i became more emo than before which is probably why when i think of it, i maybe more emo than i was 10 years ago.
is it too late to salvage my life from all this hypocrisy and expectations of others? i'm still alive and i still have my own words with me. duly noted that i can be a selfish prick when it comes to change, but i'm suffice enough to say i am wiser than i was before.
