date:
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
title:
two lines. nuff said. i don't wanna hear anything else.
date:
Monday, September 29, 2008
title: Garr VS Crack Attic
So I’ve found her blog again. God why do I have to even bother? Why’d do I even have to even try and go for it? Why’d do I even allow my fingers and head to do their thing when my heart told me not to?
It sucks to be good at something and then at the end of the day, that one thing your good at just destroys you.
I knew she had a blog before. She showed it to me, and asked me if I could change her profile background and details for her. So I’m wtf, what else could happen? The situations that I put myself in. I’m a self destructive moron that doesn’t deserved to be in a world where everybody just abuses their right to call themselves a friend, expecting everybody to acknowledge who they are and at the end, just switch sides to whom ever that they want to be with even caring the relentless sacrifices one has made and just well F everything that has been done in the past.
It makes no sense to me being in this world. It’s full of fakes and discrimination and though yes I admit I have involuntarily contributed to it, it just seems fair that I got what I deserved and just get laugh at for trying to impersonate some saint.
What ever things will be, I shall forever doom my chances of making it up thus shall I just be another nobody and remain such a person till the day I reach the good old dying age of 50. Yea, I made a commitment I’m gonna die at that age. Perhaps the fact that Annia told me after that age, I’ll probably be such a weak person which couldn’t take care of myself and will reside in others coming unwillingly to my aid. Or even for the matter of how I saw my gramps struggle himself and how alone he was staying in that house just right off the church.
I’m not thinking of running away and hoping that some miracle cure will make me stay the way I am. Living things grow old and rot away, that’s how the rule of life shall remain. Society however shall always proceed with the strong and cast out what it deems weak and just piled on more pressure for the younger generations to rebel and rebel some more till those old freaks get sick of them.
I’ll be sure to put on some counter measures for Astrid and her gang, just in case she commits to her word of how she’ll bag me up to be ship to a mental institution due to how suicidal I can sound.
This piece of thought came to me suddenly, it sounds cheesy. But at least it rhymes and it makes my post seem longer. So sue me.
Garr kill crack attic,
Crack attic tried to rebel,
Garr stares deep inside,
While crack attic manifest behind,
The two forces collide,
And both end up tired and died.
date:
Friday, September 26, 2008
title: lack
I can imagine what im going through,
But I cant face it,
I feel so much pressure,
It’s in the air,
A reoccurring story that starts itself,
Im gonna take this all night,
Its making me a wreckage,
I hope that this voice will heal me,
Wait for the sand to circle,
It goes around, and around,
I’m lying on my head and knees,
Just to prove you wrong,
Why, why, why,
Just take me down with you,
Im feeling sick to my guts,
On just how many people I trusted with,
Why did I ever look them in the eye,
And gave some acknowledgment,
I hate all of you, yes I do,
I feel no remorse for saying so,
You fooled me, and I was never safe from it,
There’s no room left here,
No need to explain,
Just make sure you get out while you can,
Before I slid down your throat,
Just to snatch your heart to replace mine,
Now that’s a lack of faith I can’t explain,
It sucks to be pathetic ain't it,
Does that mean killing you is the right thing?
date:
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
title: i feel...
Feeling sad now,
I wish it was all untrue,
I put my hand on my head,
There’s darkness,
I see no light shine,
I feel the backlight drop,
I guess its time for me to fall,
I wish I kill myself,
Feeling sinful now,
Wish I didn’t make those words,
Perhaps to never say no,
Maybe I should have lie,
I still don’t think it was right,
It depends on my poem,
I want to be silently dead,
I keep guessing myself,
Acting beside what is right,
Another tormenting night,
I can’t sleep with any peace,
The night tells me it’s safe,
But I know there’s a lot to fear,
The deaf guitar plays a lullaby,
My eyes close and open to the beats,
I try to reach for those pain killers,
Make an X on my arm,
Just to complete my cycle,
There’s a monster within me,
Whispering in my ear,
Do it and don’t care bout anything,
I ache as I see drops flowing,
I’m losing myself,
My nerve makes no sense,
It can’t rationalize what I’m doing,
I just sit at the corner with the lights off,
And just hug myself to sleep,
Feeling nobody around,
I wish there was,
Just waiting to open the door and see me,
But there will never be,
For at the start of the day,
I’ll just ignore and deny anything that shall ever approach me.
date:
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
title: 636 is going on a holiday
I laugh today at the misfortunes that have transpired towards me today. Things sure don’t seem to get any better for yours truly. I hate at those that hate me, I even spit at those who even make my day worst in my mind. My head feels like a thousand rocks just waiting to pour out of a waterfall and just crushed the damn that resides it. My fists just feel the need to go and punch through a mirror all over again and just crack and bleed itself while the pieces of glass just enters the flesh and say hi to the veins that’s with in.
A series of unfortunate events one might say, but I rather just call it a series of completely messed up travesties.
Sonam, the bitchy CA came to my room earlier and said my lava lamp consumes too much electricity. Can somebody tell me what kind of an excuse is that? For starters, my lava lamp only use one and I mean only one light bulb. I see people using night lamps that glowing 24/7 that has two. And that’s not even the start of it, I’m certain for a fact that the difference between it and my laptop or my speakers or my TV or PS3 is like the heavens and the earth. For crying out loud, what kind of dumb statement is that….
The university sends me a letter claiming I still owe them some amount of money, even more headache to my head.
On my way up to my room, I saw something missing from my door. I can’t help but realize somebody has peeled off my name tag. I was thinking to myself “great, now I’m nameless, what else can happen now”
Its official, folks. The bugs have landed in room 636. They’re invading my bed and happily dinning in my flesh while sucking chunks amount of blood while giving me a big red spot saying “I was here”.
I’ll probably have to ditch my bed by the time I make a report for it and what’s even worst, have to get some new furniture as well. My parents sure as hell will be happy to learn their son is getting a cooling massage from some pests and that it’s tormenting him more than his normal nightmares.
I still feel guilty for snapping at Astrid, I’m sorry girl. It was just one of those days for me.
Blessed be those that I don’t have any relation with. I rather you never knew me at all.
date:
Monday, September 8, 2008
title:
25 bypasses u'll remember me,
24 times for the times u lie me,
23 moments i try to cheer u,
21 lies u replied rite back at me,
20 piles of tears i cried whn ever u ditch,
19 apologies u gave me,
18 thanks you for calling my dear,
17 miles away when ever we were apart,
16 gifts and sorrows we share together,
15 clicks for us to always fear to look back,
14 chances for you to come clean,
13 times you let me down,
12 sights you see me on my knees,
11 doors i knock down to see you happy,
10 razors i used to get rid of the pain,
9 friends erased just to be loyal,
8 hateful letters received just for that,
7 attempted fail suicides,
6 broken veins to just hear you whisper,
5 personalities to hide wat was underneath,
4 times i try to look in your eyes,
3 nites i kept look the writings on the wall,
2 twice i nearly died due to lost of blood,
1 once i'll never trust you again,
0 i'll hate you forever for making me bleed.
