date:
Saturday, June 21, 2008
title: there's no more tears
theme: September, Cry For You
I wish there was another tornado today. And this time, I won’t bother myself to go down to the second floor shelter just so in terms I’ll survive the holocaust. Willy made a point the other day by stating the fact that even though we’re on the second floor, which is deem the most stable amongst all the 6th floors, the fact is we’re still in the building that can come down when it’s hit. So taking his point of view, it’ll be like four floors coming down crashing on you and you have no where to run. Now what an ending that would be for yours truly, they’ll probably make another memorial in which my name is engraved into some big stone and a porch will be brought up with words “here lies…”
I’m moving on, the only way I know how. For some, it’ll just seem that I’m a bad person just by doing what I normally do. But hey, there’s the good thing bout knowing me. I don’t change for anyone. Be it for a date or for some old poor soul who’s having his last breath to deal with, I don’t care about the usual norms that come with the process. I view things from my point of view and most of the time, people will always disagree with it on the basis that it’s just too cruel. I’m making a set of list in which will deal a sad and anger upbringing in my circle.
1. delete the majority of my friends from my life
2. make it as if I’m already dead in their eyes
3. vanish and never return, return only if deem necessary
4. on the chance of an encounter, pretend they don’t exist
5. make everybody hate you, “hate” enough to make them forget you easier
My classes have been going fine, work as always a sick voice that grips my head. And no, I haven’t checked any hot chicks here. By the end of the year, I think I want to follow Z and take the celibacy vow with her.
Here’s my take on my love life. I promised I only love her and love her alone. Should I take in another, then that promise will be broken and thus it’ll just be another waste of words on my part. My commitment is still there, but there’s no end point to it. My ethics deem me its wrong to break any promise. Thus, I shall and will not break any such promises made before even it means it’ll probably make me a miserable and sulky person in which I’m already am. I’m over and ditching the supposedly future that was there, instead I’m just taking a turn and building up something for me there without the other person.
I doubt anybody will notice anything bout me. They’re already fool by the facades that I’ve been rolling bout that they never even ask about my life. Even if they did, a simple lie is always available to twist their perspective of me. The only other person who knows me are miles away, and by the time we chat, I’ll already be in my room lonely enough to show off my true agenda.
I'm no saint, neither am I a peaceful type of guy. I'm just the type that like things to go bump in the night.
bury my heart,
mortified my soul,
within this walls,
may I be cold.
