date:
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
title:
i've had a nightmare a few days ago that made me couldn't get any shut eyes for the past two nites. was in a teachers meeting room in which they were discussing bout who's gonna be the prefects for this year. i came into the room with the perception that i just moved to the school and was pick to be a candidate. the teachers who were sitting at the table look familiar to me and they began to ask silly personal questions. a few at the corner where already debatting on how poor i would perform should i be given the role. next thing i knew, i stood up and debate with them with how well i can be and how wrong they are with assuming otherwise. i slam the table because i was so pissed at the smirk one of them gave me and that just startled them. next thing i knew, they ask me to meet the some person behind the door to get my "badge".
i walk to the door, and found it was all dark just the way i like it.
closed the door and went in, only to hear the door shut behind me. there was a person sitting at the on the floor on her knees, crying and laughing at the same time. i pay no attention and started to grab my "badge". the girl straight tap my shoulder behind the back and i pay no attention again. when i turn around, the gal was staring at me with her hair coverring her face. she was blocking my way to the door, so i ask her to move aside politely. she didn't move. i put my hand on her shoulder and i couldn't budge her. she stood still and i saw her eyes. it was her and she just came out with her mouth wide open to eat me.
it was then that i woke up. i told one of my friends bout it only to be laugh at. it was then i realize somethings are better just left bottled up. every night there's always a lie going to happen.
it's turning windy
i'm falling forwards and crawling towards the light
she watches me at a distance with a tear in her eye
right now i'm outside at your window
with my radio screaming through the noise
i hear myself but i can't talk
i'm kicking the cans to break my bones
you are the song that i know
bleeding chorus and twisted vibes
hold me down i'm playing the strings again,
barb wires piercing to my fingers,
rose deep thorns plucking away at my skin,
black poison eases to my veins and start to mutate me,
i've done nothing wrong,
so why am i doing all the assassination,
it's making to my heart and to my room,
i can't wait for it to be over,
don't wanna sleep tonight,
for everything is vain without its splendor,
Every day is another face,
Every day is another fake across the street.
Every night is an alibi.
Every night is another lie in your eyes.
Is there a meaning in the makeup?
Have nightmares bout me where ever you are.
date:
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
title:
the lies to what i knew, it's a simple perception to just what it was there all along. i look at it knowing it would be there like jaws and just waiting for me to dip my heart long enough in the salty sea for it to rip it out.
it was all that i could have said, "so long and good night". she could hear me , yes. but rather than just simply respond with a touch of light, she broke me down with a simple laughter. a faint sound that just push me down and dwell me away to again, a simple dramatic boy.
there's a pain and place for everything. i feel i've done enough to felt through all of it. from yesterday til now, my mood's never ever gonna change. i'll keep on looking for heartbreak through blood and innocence until i puke myself to death with it. give me a map of the world and i'll mark each spot with a valentines day cross to show where i've been.
i'll never listen to advices or worst my tiny liltle voice to salvage what liltle pride i have myself to begin with just because, i can just walk away and go "oh well". i like falling, i like drowning, i so like slashing my wrist even more than i love to walk and gaze at how well the night is forming itself to judge me.
the month's don't matter to me, only the days and seconds that tick away from me. everybody just say to me to walk away, to avoid it but i like to retrace my steps just to make my mind be alive. all i need is just a reaction. is it too much to ask for just a distraction? say you walking, is it too much too just wonder who is that that's never beside me holding on to my bleeding hand?
as much as i like to write, just like the winter, i feel like i'm beginning to die from all this exhaustion. the repetition of everything, doesn't that make anybody who reads me bored?
clinch their fist and just punch me into another world where angels and demons do not exist.
i'm sorry if i'm boring. so what have you realize about your life today?
