I feel intoxicated again. but i made some new random friends with the band that came into kirby's. to start off with, here's the deal with kirby's. it's a bar that's been going strong for more than 16 years. i'm familiar with the bartenders Paul and Sol. the story goes i ask for their name one day and both of them told me "We know your name, your the only asian that come's here".

I added one of the bands name to my blog's theme song. i hope you like it.

Back to the main story, i've been feeling a bit guilty with myself this past few days. i completely let myself wide open and now i can't fix it. i can only pick one but i'll have to sacrifice the other. i used to say i really want a happy ending for everybody, but as i aged i realize that is literally a mission impossible. it sucks that i can't make anybody happy anymore, i suffer inside silently to not show that it affects me.

i do want some sort of happiness for myself, not much but just a tiny bit just so i can feel i did the job. but i feel as if i don't know anybody anymore. everybody i see is just coming out to see who i am / what i have become / or just what do i look like now. i can't deny their curiosity, but i truly feel i rather just spend time with somebody that doesn't just judge me or just somebody which i feel comfortable with. i feel like i can't connect with anybody anymore. its more or less just me staring into their eyes and trying to see what they're trying to get out of me.

i wish someday when somebody reads the news and they see my name, they don't remember me for what i'm doing to get my name there, but more towards for what i did in the past to make them remember my name til then.

Hi,my name is Garrz. some would call me me G where others choose to be formal and just call me by my surname. this blog is a recollection of my life and my undecided other soul. while it may seem to be suicidal in a glance, it is just an explicit form of expression of myself against the typical world. i AM a banana and i do LOVE sad pandas. contact can be made towards ybgarr@gmail.com

My Side Project /Zihan/ Parishna/Ryan

Software Used:Adobe Photoshop
Designer: ♥ ♥
Stocks: ♥

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