I kinda miss that certain person at this moment. i won't lie, i do still wish i sometimes can hang with her now and then. Maybe it's just the alcoholic talking, the after buzz i get from the rum + cokes, or just maybe the long walk i took back home that is gasping my brain to tell the truth. if i didn't speak the truth, then there was no reason for me to type this post or even start this blog in the first place.

As i lock the door behind me, i felt a light breeze through my head and it just brought me back to those times when we used to walk together and just made fun of people who dress funny along side KL or even in college. Yes, i'm a sucker for love and screw me for still having cupid's arrow still piercing my heart even though i swore to myself to just let the hole turn into a scar and just live by it every single day.

The fact that i still can't allow myself to be swallowed by the evil guilt of finding a replacement for a girl that's already been 5 years partaking towards me makes this so unbelievable. perhaps maybe i owe it to myself to at least keep one of the broken promises that i gave to her, or maybe perhaps i felt like i owe some broken heart to never look for another girl again as i told my ego she was the one and nobody else. pain painstakingly i tried to look for another, but every single eye that i peer into leads me back into my own soul and i just stop at a stuttering point to tell the stranger that we should just be friends as i feel injustice to be with them when i pretend to be some sort of element in their daily routine.

Learning to drink just to drown my sorrows certainly helps ease the tension and pain that comes and goes, but even that can only push me so far. i can't really talk about it to anybody else, just because i literally have a trust disease. the only person i would really want to talk to is the one and only person i can't talk about as i fear that it will push her away from me again just like a needle going through a my nails trying to make the perfect blood manicure.

But you know, at the end of the day i just feel like i want to ask but yet i kinda realize its the wrong time to say anything about it. would i ever be able to find out who i am or even find out if she'll ever be even take another glance back towards me? at least i know one thing. i learn to love the darkness that the fall has befallen upon me.

Hi,my name is Garrz. some would call me me G where others choose to be formal and just call me by my surname. this blog is a recollection of my life and my undecided other soul. while it may seem to be suicidal in a glance, it is just an explicit form of expression of myself against the typical world. i AM a banana and i do LOVE sad pandas. contact can be made towards ybgarr@gmail.com

My Side Project /Zihan/ Parishna/Ryan

Software Used:Adobe Photoshop
Designer: ♥ ♥
Stocks: ♥

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