rev theory, voices

im due 2 tests, a forum post and a heck load of a written assignments today. i know i gotta do it but my mind is telling me to sleep. so i guess i'll hit the sack and wake up in an hour after this post.

my eyes are failing me as it is, that normally flicker that i'm seeing is a good proof of this.

honestly after much thinking, i'm really at that point of mind where i think some friends are just luxury. the ones that are not are just limited and are so scattered around that i feel just sad to say that at times i can't really talk to them. the ones that are close to me, proximity wise just thinks of themselves as a chatter box and i can't really motivate myself to grab a box to fill in their topics.

i like this song because it depicts of what i'm going through at the moment. perfectly with no flaws. yea, it may sound familiar to some people. but screw you if you think i'm just hallucinating myself over it.

i'm doing things really by myself right now. gone are the days in nilai where i can pretend to have somebody i can trust and talk about things. i'm in an unknown area where some people know what is going on and pretend that they can't do anything about it when they can. i'm defenseless but now i'm surrounding myself with walls of bricks that just simply needs to be made out of steel. i like how people assume i'll get over things when the scars that remain will continue to open up and cost me to bleed over again.

i received a call from a family member in which i rejected twice today, and i got a voice mail out of it. i blatantly lie to a friend about a problem due to the fact she has a problem with her beau. i pretended to be okay in front of my housemate and be nice to him because he's still a kid and i know he sensed something was wrong with me. i glanced at people whom i wish was on but decided to hold back on telling them that i need a shoulder cry on. i decided not to drop a tear after i wake up today because i hate that sense of fragile that comes and haunts me in my dreams.

how much have i sin today i really can't say. i know for a fact that all this hardship i'm going through will reward me with something great in the end. i'm nobody to bitch about, i just need to get over it and continue ascending towards the sky.

i need my cold hearted voices to start speaking again. i need them to wake up from their long slumber and just motivate me. i need to talk to them more, and for them to make sure i keep on living my path of just being an outsider. i need saving, and i'm going to save myself by myself with just my own two hands to carry this weight on my shoulders. i maybe care-free at times, but i'm crawling myself to let that part of me die just so i can pretend that i'm gonna replace the hero that i killed at the end and just be the main character of a long story.

Hi,my name is Garrz. some would call me me G where others choose to be formal and just call me by my surname. this blog is a recollection of my life and my undecided other soul. while it may seem to be suicidal in a glance, it is just an explicit form of expression of myself against the typical world. i AM a banana and i do LOVE sad pandas. contact can be made towards ybgarr@gmail.com

My Side Project /Zihan/ Parishna/Ryan

Software Used:Adobe Photoshop
Designer: ♥ ♥
Stocks: ♥

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